In addition to being a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I am also a Wedding Minister. Therefore, I see couples on their happiest day as well as times when relationships deteriorate and the once happy couple has lost their loving feeling. Often love wanes because they can't keep the romance alive They think that turning into a husband or wife means that they will become shackled together with responsibilities that will eventually kill the fun and spontaneity they once had.
In my new Ebook, Grownup Love: Getting It and Keeping It, one of my goals is to share that love is not just for the young. That belief was brought to my attention last week when I had the privilege of performing a wedding for a couple of seventy-year olds. The day was gorgeous with beautiful blue skies and puffy white clouds. The bride and groom were blissfully happy as they exchanged vows and rings.
As these two Senior Citizens looked at each other with eyes of love, I realized that you are never too old to feel romantic love. Although we may age and develop wrinkles and gray hair, inside we remain as young as when we were teenagers. Yet many people tell themselves that as grownups they should act that act their age! After all, old people look old so they should act old.
Many people think that as we get older we are incapable of feeling romantic, and that sexual feelings also atrophy. Plenty of younger folks have problems with desire and performance too. Since I have started using the amazing imagery technique I call the Phoenix Effect Process with my clients, I have helped a number of people well over sixty rediscover their sexual desire and rekindle what might have been a dying flame in their sex life.
An unsatisfying sex life is usually the result of negative beliefs about oneself and lack of information about sex and our bodies. Readily available porn on the internet and magazines that tell us that we must have hot bodies and continue to look young no matter how old we are, have even led women to have plastic surgery to revitalize an aging vagina!
Take stock of yourself and your life and pay attention to all the ways you have convinced yourself that you are unattractive, have no sexual desire, are too old or too wrinkled to have orgasms and take heart. You can re-awaken romance and desire, no matter your age. People are living older today. That means that couples can have more time to love each other.